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9:50 a.m. - 2003-05-28
Bad dreams and sleepless nights
No sleep, no sleep, no sleep. That'll teach me for setting my expectatins up to high. After such a glorious night of sweet dreams which I wrote about yesterday, my last night was the opposite. Went to bed at 10, actually fell asleep at 4, woke at 5. Ouch. I feel like crapola. And when I actually did sleep, I have a hideous nightmare driven by work anxiety no doubt.

I had a nightmare that I was visiting friends in another town, and my friends little 20 something brother confessed his undying love for me. (She doesn't have a little brother in real life). I turned him down ... too young. I drove him back to his house, and we got into a terrible accident. He was having seizures by the side of the road, and I was crying and saying I was sorry, and telling him everything would be OK. I tried calling 911 but my fingers wouldn't work, then when I did call it it was some store and not the emergency people. So, not only did I break his heart, I couldn't help him. Then a truck drove over us, we were between the wheels, unschmooshed, but it wouldn't move. Then I was in my apartment, but it wasn't the one I have now and I was having an anxiety attach about needing to wash the linens and clean the bathroom.

What a lousy end to a sleepless night. I wanna go home. I wanna lay on my couch and then clean my bathroom and clean my bed linens. The dream freaked me out. I need to clean!!!


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