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10:26 a.m. - 2003-05-30
The ass trilogy
I need an asshole really bad. Its like a nicotine addiction. As I live and breathe - I need an asshole in my life tonight.

Now, for those of you who are not terribly familiar with my misadventures - by a.s.s.h.o.l.e - I mean one of the loveable, outrageous, potty-humored friends I run around with on weekends. Anyone wil do, I just need some asshole therapy. Again - this has nothing with the actual orafice. Nothing at all. I try to leave that alone if at all possible. So far, I've been successful at that.

Just one will do, but I feel the need to have my pack together right now. I need for someone to tell me to stick it all up my ass and have a beer. (There I go again with the asses and beer).

So this weekend I will:

1 - Drink lots of water

2 - Eat healthy food

3 - Drink lots of alcoholic beverages

4 - Dress up like a hoochie mama and boogie my ass off (oops! I did it again)

5 - Do some form of formal exercise

6 - Forget who I work for and what I do

7 - Seek out a new experience (preferably not while drunk)

8 - Work on that damned resume

9 - Smile a lot

10 - Give thanks for all the folks that make my world go round (getting dizzy though)


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