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10:18 a.m. - 2004-01-26
Odd ramblings of a weekend past.
So, I have prophetic skills. The dream came true. Except we were at The Bar, and not in Rico Suave's basement.(I need a new name for him, he's Welsh, not even hispanic) But, Six and I went out to sooth her broken heart with a dose of vodka and assholes. Assholes were a plenty.

I teased a man mercilessly for his Nazi-istic point of view, and nicknamed him Swastika. I think he's beginning to feel a little bit ashamed of himself. I'm working on it.

I made the booty call, and he called back and left a message on my cell. I went outside to listen to it, because the music was blaring. But all I got out of it was "I'm at Sully's, he's finishing up his shoes, blah, blah, blah." Assuming that this was a case of Assholese, the secret language of The Boys, I got Sixweasels to come out to interpret. Only, she heard what I did. So, I called back, told them they were assholes, and they said they would be over in a sec. OH, and it was soup, not shoes.

So, in stroll H (aka booty call), Sully and Rico. We're all talking, and Rico is in the back watching some friends play pool. Sully says something about H's ass and I fall to the floor laughing. Sober, folks, no vodka influence. That was all Six.

The evening ended, and all of the assholes are tossed out of The Bar to rest up for the next round the following day. H goes to get his big redneck truck, and cleans the snow off of mine too. You know, for a booty call, he's awefully gentlemanly. I've got the best "friend with benefits" in the whole world.

So, while he's out, Rico and Sully are finishing their beers, slowly. Rico insists that we hang out for another hour, what's the rush he says. Meanwhile, I'm dying, yelling at him to drink up and get the hell out to his ride so I can get busy. So he pulls me in, grabs my ass, and tells me he wants to "encroach". He's jealous. And I finally figured it out. He only wants me when I am either taken, or he's leaving. Like, he wants me later when his whoring days are complete, but desires for me to wait patiently for his stupid ass until then.

I don't think so Mr. Rico Suave, too much gel in the hair, Mr. Shiney rubber fake leather jacket! Fuck you and your tennis balls. If I'm not good enough now, eat worms and die. Oh no, I didn't mean that. Don't die. Just eat the worms. Loads of em. Besides, you're kinda charming in that bio-hazardous guy friend sort of way. Its just so you to be such a mutt. You're a good friend -- asshole!

So, off I went to the H abode to spend the night. You know, the first couple times sleeping in the same bed was weird, and bothersome. He stole all the blankets, and I got knocked into the crack between the water bed mattress and the frame numerous times. And I couldn't sleep through the incredible snoring. But this time, he made sure I had enough covers, and I slept through the snoring. And, my ass only got stuck in the crack once, because I got a little more used to sleeping near the middle, rather than the edge where I usually perch at home on my queen bed. I really only need a single, the way I sleep.

I woke up in the morning with the glow of a good, sound bedding. And boy oh boy, have I been relaxed these last few weeks. It really doesn't take much. I'm a simple girl. Plus I got eggs and toast for breakfast. And hot tea. This is the life.

BTW - If you have a good sense of potty humor like me, go see Along Came Polly. It was the funniest thing since fat bastard. Plus there's a weasel, if you're into that kinda thing.

2 months 11 days till cruise. Bring it on!!!


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