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10:41 a.m. - 2004-02-25
The sea
I've done some more ass kicking and I feel pretty good about it. Although ass kicking takes a lot of energy. So I'm pooped. But I feel good.

I bought The Yoga Deck last week, and have been doing one card a night. Concentrating on one pose with all my energy. Each pose has a special meaning and treatment for the body, mind and soul. Last night I did yogic breathing. One nostril at a time, slow and rythmic. I felt like I had melted by the time I was done.

Yoga really is a beautiful thing when done with the right intentions.

Today I realized that my skin is really dry, and I need to take care of it. My arms and legs are itchy and sensitive feeling. I really hate the feel of lotion on my skin. I either feel sticky or like a grease pit. Plus the smells are usually too strong for me. I need to find one lotion or oil that I can't live without.

These are the things I notice when I'm taking care of myself and not busybusybusy in the head. I forget about the essentials. I'm feeling so pampered already.

The big ugly project is looking like it will be done before the cruise, and that is a relief. The cruise will be a true letting go. A goodbye to nastier times. A time to breath freely and deeply of sea air and moist earth. Those are the smells that come to mind. The salty-fishy smell of the water, and the moist, damp smell of island earth. The feel of the ship at night as I drift off to sleep. Ahhh.

The sea is another home of sorts. A place where I've done the most growing into myself. Where decisions have been made and chances taken. New experiences accepted and adopted as my own.

The sea has always been a draw. Since I was a kid and rode on a sailboat for the first time, I've loved the feel of water. I dreamed of becoming a dolphin, whale or mermaid so I could live under the surface and feel the water rush past my skin.

I wanted so badly to live in a seaside town growing up. We looked at a couple when we moved away from D.C. But the parents chose the mountains instead. So be it. Long winding forest paths are nice too. Maybe its just another representation of the balance that I seek.

One month, 9.5 days to go....


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