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2:37 p.m. - 2004-05-19 I've been wearing my sweater all day to keep the dream alive, so to speak. Tonight is a big night. American Idol fans will agree. Will Jasmine stay or go? I can't get enough of Fantasia. I chose her from the try outs. Then I got attached to George and wavered a bit, but Fantasia is a star, no ifs ands or buts. She is magical. Yay for young single parents's everywhere!!! Dreams do come true, regardless. Its a big night for other reasons as well. That 70's Show finale. Can't wait! Will Eric show, or run... Somewhere in there I have to get my booty shaking in an excercise fashion. I'm transferring to a Curves closer to me so it'll be a lot easier to slip it in. Anyone who's been reading this diary long knows what I went through when I moved out totally on my own. The aloneness, the noiselessness, the lack of a dog to live with. It was SO hard. Well, now that I've reserved movers, and a storage facility, its sunk in. I'm leaving my beautiful apartment. The quiet. The lack of chatter, and mom-stepdad fighting. The beauty of it being completely mine. My taste, my smells, my sense of organization, yet casualness. I'm going to cry hard when I move out. I'll have no refuge. No sense of me in my environment. But I'll have more money to throw at my debt, and that will make me very happy. There's never a balance, is there?
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