9:40 a.m. - 2004-06-07
Zen the peace maker.
My mom had a party yesterday for friends of my step-dads. It was aweful. They are putrid people. But she begged me to come so she'd have an ally. So I smiled, I ate and I laughed at stupid jokes to make peace.
Does this sound familiar? Me taking abuse to make peace?
Uuuggghhh! Enough.
What really hit me hard was realizing that in less than a month, I will have no place to go to get away. No peace, no privacy. I tried to lock myself in my bedroom because I had a huge headache. But because my mom's bathroom is attached to my bedroom, I could hear everyoen go in there and fart and poop and moan all the while.
Then they tried to get into my bedroom, just because the door was shut. I tried to escape to the loft then, but they came up to be with me, BECAUSE I had a headache.
Is it me, or dso most people leave you alone when you have a headache, because sound hurts your head?
So I took off to the apartment to do more packing. And cried. Because I am leaving my solace behind. And my dildo. It'll be packed away in someone's house until I get my own space again. Probably Sixweasel's abode.
More sadness.
I wonder at the complete capitulation of emotion since I moved in and felt so lonely. It was a desoplate place. Then I filled with me-ness, had friends over to warm it up a bit, and it became a haven.
Less than a month to goodbye.
