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9:49 a.m. - 2004-06-23
Thank God, I finally got in. I'm feeling much angst and I needed to vent. But I don't know what to say.

I just feel, lonely. Not for lack of friends or company. But lonely for that one of a kind, couple type of relationship. I've never felt like this before. Its always been free as a bird, can't get too close, must not commit Zen.

Not that I want H as a boyfriend for before stated and re-stated reasons. But, I guess we got so close to being in a relationship without actually being in one to give me a taste of what it must be like to havea regular guy with benefits. And wouldn't it be wonderful to have one to love who loves me back in a healthy and empowering way?

Yeah, it would.


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