8:24 a.m. - 2004-08-27
Between the snorting and wheezing and falling off my chair yesterday at the fart machine, and ripping out a belch the size of my state this smorning, I'm afraid I'm not portraying the hard assed professional I'm supposed to be.
New mission? Be my happy snorting, belching self and dare them to look down on me. Fuckers!
OK, the gas bubble in my tummy is getting a little uncomfy now.
That reminds me, yesterday another co-worker was telling a story of how she farted in front of two men we work with that she had crushes on years ago. One, she was doing a cheerleading demo for another colleague, and when she did the "Ready?...O K." part, she let one rip. And the crush was right behind her. Needless to say, he was too much of a wuss to give her the high rating she deserved, and turned the other way.
The other, she was in a meeting in a closed office. She had a silent, but deadly, but wasn't aware that it was going to be deadly. When it hit her nose, she looked a the crush, and his nostrils flared. He never said anything, but knowing that they were the only two in the room, he assuredly knew the culprit. When he left her office, she cried hysterically and called a co-worker to console her.
HOW FREAKIN' FUNNY IS THAT?
Better her than me. Although, if I don't burp this stuff out, I'll be in a similar position later this afternoon. Maybe I'll see if anyone is in the bathroom, so I can burp without offending anyone's sensibilities.
Hope you enjoyed this brief foray into Zen's House of Potty Humor.