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11:46 a.m. - 2005-02-27
Pervs, perps and lovely peeps.
An evening well spent.

I picked up Sully at 7 last night for our evening out at the local Irish Pub with our all time favorite local band playing bawdy Irish tunes and reels.

He'd been socializing already, and roped Tod and Tod's nephew-in-law CousCous (Goose couldn't pronounce his real name) into going downtown with us. So, I had a car full of beautiful assholish men with me all night. Dear God was I in heaven.

The band started late so we stayed longer than we intended, but we had a blast. The scary "Wrong Turn" dude from last night was there dressed up in camo, combat boots and a bush hat. He spent a few minutes hovering over Sully's shoulder, but CousCous ambled over and made a mild, tall presence that was enough to send the scary man away in pursuit of new bait. Thank God Six wasn't there. I think that may have been a problem.

I eventually wandered back to the back of the bar to see what Tod was up to, and CousCous followed in suit. Tod had met a cute couple who were interested in his sportswear shit. We stood chatting for a bit, when a group of mid twenties asshats came up to me, grabbed me around the waist and tried to kiss me. They asked me if one of their friends was cute, and I said he looked too young to be cute. He tried to lay one on me, but I ducked experty away, and told him I was old enough to be his mother. In some societies it would be true. I also mentioned that he looked like he was going to barf on me.

They gathered closer and my ass started getting a little bruised, and by that time I was done with the whole thing. I pushed one away, and he grabbed me tighter and said he wanted to bite my nipples.

Well, that was IT. Nobody threatens The Girls like that. I told him that would be a problem in my best school marm voice. I stomped on his foot, grabbed his ear, looked for the oldest, most sober one in the bunch and said -- "does this belong to you?"

He walked over, grabbed one of his friends and apologized for their stupidity and drunkenness. I tossed him his other friend and turned my back signaling the "I'm finished dealing with perps tonight so stay out of my way or you'll find a bottle lodged up your ass" signal.

Now, I have to make a disclaimer. One might ask why my own little group of beloved assholes didn't do anything to defend my honor. The thing is, they would have, but they were outnumbered by the group 3 to 1, and all three of my men had knee injuries. So the best way to handle the asshats was to let the Zen do it on her own. They know me well enough to understand my level of expertise with dislodging asshats from my person and putting them in their places. But have no fear, if I had been outmatched, every one of them would have been in the throws of all out physical assholery to make the bad people go away. I'm glad it didn't go that way.

When the first set ended, we headed over to The Bar to meet up with Batten, Eastportgrl, Sixweasels and MYEXODUS. A welcome relief from testosterone laden, asshatted shitknockers.

My first impression of MYEXODUS was instant like. She has the biggest, deepest brown doe eyes I've ever seen. And she's so expressive that she shoots out energy in powerful waves from all corners of her body. You know those types of people? You feel them before you see them.

She talks loud, expresses herself freely, and enjoys a good dose of assholery like any good woman. She's a caretaker and trail blazer. And her family seems to adore her. I only wish I had had more time to get to know her, but that only gives me more reason to dive into her journal. I know a good story or hundred awaits.

My Goose (silly school girl crush of 14 years) was there with his wife. that's always a good thing, except he has a crush on me too, and his wife told me she always has to hear about how great I am. Which makes Goose an asshole. My crushes are always harmless. I'd never ever encroach on a married man. And I truely don't think that Goose would break vows either. But one always puts one's wife front and center, no matter what. She is the best, smartest, most pretty, sexiest, etc, etc. (You listening out there?) He may need my foot up his ass sooner than later.

All the other assholes were there too, so MYEXODUS got a good show. Nobody took off their pants, or sang or danced like a cat on crack, but the personalities were there to be studied. Tod sat at the table with us, chatting up her sister-in-law. He has the gift of conversation with anyone and everyone that makes him a good table companion.

Later in the evening I wandered back to Sully and CousCous (Who I have to admit, is extermely attractive despite his youth. May be the foreign nationality thing, he's Finnish. But I think its more the bluntness of his speech and laid back nature that attracts me to him.) Unfortunately, he is married to Tod's niece, so he is a look but don't touch. He is having some friends from home come visit this summer though. So maybe I'll get a chance to play with one of them to kill the urge.

At the end of the evening, I drove my lovely car full of men home, and stepped into Sully's for a bit of late night comraderie with he and Tod. By 3:30 I was done and headed home to Sixweasel's for a long night's sleep.

And good night was had by all.

Penis meter:
One medium/large penis was viewed inadvertantly through a bathroom door.

One very large, erect penis was felt rubbing on my hip at the Irish pub. Unfortunately, it was attached to an asshat and had to be left alone.

Was felt up (both breasts) by Six's cousin Kat during a comparison encouraged by an ever pervy Tod. It was most unexpected, and funny as hell. I am only disappointed that it was Kat instead of a big, ugly, older man with lavicious thoughts and clean bill of sexual health.


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