7:15 p.m. - 2005-05-07
Anyway, I was geeked upon - trapped even, by geeks. Ryan's geeks. They cornered me at a table in a very little room, and talked to me until my eyes glazed over, and I said Fuck. When I said Fuck they went into shock. I was then, persona non grata. Thank god!
THEN, the New Girl, of Sixweasels' diary, with the squeekiest voice, and most grating personality, would not climb out of my ass all evening. She is beginning to impress me as a manipulative, cock sucking (in a bad way), slimy douche bag. And to top it all off, she put my jacket on while I was in the bathroom, and refused to give it back even thought I shivered and was obviously cold. She had her own fucking jacket there. What the fuck was that all about? I don't even want to know. It was extrordinarily douchey.
The worst, bitchy part, was when Sully called H, and H said he wasn't coming out because I was cold to him when we saw eachother last. All because, when he arrived, I was deep in conversation with a MAN. God forbid. I didn't drop everything, rudely tell the MAN that H was there and I had to go now.
Number one: Zen doesn't play that way. Zen gets to talk to men whether she is fucking a guy, dating him, married to him or whatever. Not that I've ever been married, but, you know what I mean. And I digress.
Number two: I hadn't seen H for months, and so had no idea that he had ... ideas. Well, Six had mentioned that idiotic statement, but, H and I hadn't actually talked about anything. So even if I did play "that way" there was no agreement between us to mess with.
Number three: The man I was talking to was the semi-retarded brother of the bar tender who is one of the best women I know. I'd no sooner offend her by snubbing her nice brother, than I'd hurt his feelings and leave him feeling less than worthy.
Men suck so bad sometimes. Because, a nice fuck buddy arrangement would do me a lot of good right now, and deep down, H is a really good man. He just has some serious trust/abandonment/self-esteem/anger issues. No better or worse than the rest of us. But hellishly frustrating to try to get together with.
So yeah. Mr. Garrison, can we get rid of all the PMS? (If you don't watch South Park, this will be lost on you. And hell, you SHOULD be watching it anyway!)
P.S. Deadwood is the most addictive thing since D0ritos. Jane and Sol have wormed themselves into my heart, and the widow and Al get more dear to my heart with every episode. I'm going to go watch more episodes so I can catch up with the new one tomorrow now. Maybe I'll get less bitchy by tomorrow too.
Oh my god, penises are flying every direction on Deadwood. Literally.