6:30 p.m. - 2005-05-31
I just cried really, really hard for two hours straight. Can we say "at the end of her rope"?
1) My dog isn't going to be with us much longer.
2) I hate my mother so much I never want to see her again, but my dog has to live there and I can't be without her.
3) And I have this possibly cancerous tumor and I have no mother to tell about it.
4) And I have this possibility of surgery coming up, and I'll need someone at the hospital and someone to take care of me and who will that have to be???
5) My life sucks right now.
But, I must achieve balance, so...
1) I have the best friends a girl could have.
2) I love my apartment, despite the fact that I killed a spider Sunday that was so big, he had his own personality.
3) My job is now OK instead of evil.
4) I've lost ten pounds I think (but that binge I just went on while crying didn't help matters.)
5) My life is better than most.
I will get through this. I have inner and outer resources that surprise even me. But right now, I'm feeling pretty low.
And that's just the truth.
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