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9:15 a.m. - 2005-06-13
Party time in Assholia.
Oh, the weekend was everything celebrations should be.

I spent some lovely time with the Neph, dishing with my brother, his wife and his in-laws about how undeniably whacknut our mom is. As right as I know I am, it helped tenfold to have someone who grew up with it confirm what I already knew.

Saturday I slept in, then watched girlie romances. First was Ch@sing Liberty, which was surprisingly good, for an old, tired plot. I'd actually watch it again if I were in a girlie mood.

Then I moved on to Under the Tusc@n Sun, which always reminds me of Italy, and interludes with Italian waiters in cruise ships in cupboards, pantries, and linen closets.

I love those weekend mornings alone. Nothing to do but moosh on the couch, and watch sappy romance flicks to my heart's content. The kind of stuff you can only do when you're a girl on your own.

Which is only going to last two more years, according to the resident psychic at The Bar. And apparently, there will be kiddos in the mix. Lots of them. Hmmm... Oh yeah, and I haven't met HIM yet. Which is heartening, because if I had, I would have cried. Because that would have meant I'd marry Sully, H, Tod or, my god, Weasel. And those options just don't cut it.


Anyway, I promised Kit that I'd bake her an apple pie if it came true, with a roll of my eyeballs.

So, I'm enjoying the freedom only singlehood can deliver to its fullest extent. Just in case...

Have I told you how much lighter I feel now that I know I don't have a potentially lethal disease? I feel 100 lbs lighter. Airy almost.

Saturday evening was Sully and Six time at our favorite bar. It was packed with young ladies, scantily clad, having bachelorette parties. They were having a great time, but not as great as the band lead who ate up the attention, and played up to them, increasing the bachelorette frenzy. There was one biker who looked like he'd never seen girls before, who had what looked like the time of his life, posing for pics, and taking the girls outside to look at this bike. They got a great pic of the girl with the biker posing on his bike. It doesn't get much better than that.

There was also a guy outside panhandling, who had a sign on that said his family was killed by ninjas, who took all his money. I almost gave him a buck for the sheer audacity and clever humor.

But then, it turned ugly, because I was cornered at the window by a couple that flirted outrageously with me. Yes, I did say a couple. Swingers have a thing for me. I don't know what it is, but if there are swingers in the realm, they think I'm cute.

Six thinks its my independant, secure nature that attracts them. Maybe I should give off a needier vibe when I go out. I mean, I do like to have a good time, and am OK with alternate lifestyles, for OTHER people. But me? I'm a straight up straight girl with a healthy love of the penis, and I absolutely do not share, ever.

So swingers, swing away. But stop with the eye batting and shy smiles. Because if I'm gonna meet this guy in the next two years, I don't want him thinking the wrong thing just because some wacky couple thinks I'm cute. Ya hear?

Oh yeah, and if you go out in public to hang in a small bar and hear a band, please take a bath. And keep your eyes on the woman you came in with.



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