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4:04 a.m. - 2005-06-15
I must be way out of touch, because I had no idea that Cali was being shaken like a martini.

Hope all is well!

I'm feeling very snotty today. Full o boogers. Not sick, but definately boogered up only the way that a good allergy can get you. It could be anything, because I'm officially allergic to everything but pets and cockroaches (oh joy!). I'm using the schnoz shooter the doc prescribed, so I should make it through just fine.

Archangel666 got me thinking about dreams, and I remembered why I don't eat Campbells Vegetable soup. I had a dream when I was 5 or 6 that I was in an industrial looking pool which was filled with said soup. I was swimming, and the drainage fan started up, and I was sucked into it and cut up into little pieces.

To this day, I cannot eat Campbells Veggie Soup.

I was also suspicious of pool drains for a few years, but conquered that fear by swimming straight down to the drain a couple times, touching it and swimming to the surface quick as lightening like there were sharks after me.

Between that and the recurring nightmare I wrote about last week or so, do you think I had a strange childhood?


But now, I'm all Assholian and everything. So all is right with the world.

Well, except for the microscopic penis sightings and the swingers hitting on me. I could do without them. Oh, and the stinky letches.

On another you think its possible to be too confident in one's body image? I mean, I am a chunky chick, but I'm proportioned well, hourglass figure, boobs and ass, nice muscles, buddha belly that I think is cute, except when I'm PMSing. I like the way I look. But, I need to lose about 40-60 or so for my health (get rid of BP and Cholesterol meds, help spine out, etc.).

But, I'm just not driven. I think if I were driven to lose weight to be more desireable to men, I would be more successful. But men think I'm cute already (even Sully said if I lost over 30, I'd look rediculous, which says a lot because he has an eye for perfection). That's why I see penises all the time.

I need to find a driving factor to make me serious about a good diet, less intake, more exercise, etc. If not for my looks, then for my health. I've become so complacent.

Anyway, if you think of anything, let me know.


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