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10:46 a.m. - 2005-07-14
What a mess.
Having received some lovely offers of Big, Bald Ugly men from the military, and wild, juicy, pagan sex from some of my favorite buddies, I'm feeling a bit more mellow.

I do need to address the anger problem though. Not that it is a problem. Anger is what it is and I have it. Its justifiable. But it does suck when it comes out sideways and I have to do things like explain that I'm a dunce or apologize for saying things I wish I hadn't.

Talking about my issues, as it were, does help immensely, but I need a physical outlet to shake off the physiological presentation of the feeling. I'm thinking...

Batting cage. I get to beat things without remorse or fear of reprisal or jail time. Jail is so not for me. It works for some people. Like my junkie friend who likes to use the time to catch up on his reading.

I'll just leave that alone.

On another note - go give a shout out to Batten, who has written a masterpiece and deserves much praise and admiration for it.

I'm already anticipating the weekend. An appoinment with my personal trainer for a ball workout tomorrow. I guess that could be taken a different way for a man, but for me it means a big beach ball that people exercise on.

Saturday is assholery in the form of a concert downtown in a new venue that promises to be a good time. Six and I, and maybe an assortment of penises, maybe not, will put our energy into rocking hard and screaming our lungs hoarse. Assholery is good therapy.

I even broke downand got some pretty new girl shirts that aren't black. Six inspired me on Saturday with her stylistic adjustment to my second black ensemble of the weekend. I was wearing a cute black tank with a short sleeved black sweater. She replaced the sweater with one of her cute pink overshirts and wala! Cute Zen not in black.

I'm trying - really I am.


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