9:54 a.m. - 2005-08-04
What's a Zen to do???
I keep reading back over my last three entries (minus number two) and feel all warm and fuzzy and toasty.
I've been in a wonderful, sentimental mood of late, and it makes me tingle down to my toes.
Sixweasels make me think a bit about possible careers for me. I've been stuck in the corporate rut for ten years, sucking in money, spending it frivolously, being miserable. Trying to figure out what I want to do for a living.
I know I want to do something I'll respect myself for. To hell with what anybody else thinks. I want to do something that will enable me to positively affect the lives of others. I want something that will make use of my brain, and my heart. I want something that my personal experiences will enhance.
I spent college studying international and middle eastern politics, all the while wanting to be a physical therapist. I had been a physical therapy aid one summer and fell in love with it. It was an incredible rush to have a hand in helping to teach an amputee to walk again. Then I learned that I's have to cut up dead people, and have an off the charts GPA to get into PT school and abandoned that idea. I was never a great student. Unless I had a passion for what I was learning. I aced the cultural courses and writing courses. Almost flunked math (in fact I flunked 5 times before I found a drunk professor who would pass me). All other classes, I would skip class, take a couple of exams, do a little homework and slide by with rock bottom C.
Thank goodness nobody ever asked for a transcript when I got this job. I would have been laughed out of the cubicle.
I have a good lead now, thanks to Six, but it will take a good while for me to get started. I need to finish up on the debt thing, go to school, and get some personal shit in order. I also need to think about where I want to apply my skills within the general arena. It will take as long as it takes, and if life moves me differently in the meantime, I will go with the flow. I think we spend too much time accomplishing goals with blinders on and miss out on wonderful opportunities that pop up along the way. They may take us off course, but what if the new course if even better than the last, and the end goal infinately more valuable?
________________________________________
Speaking of valuable, I've fugured out that my new vibe is missing batteries, and that is why it doesn't vibe. It needs button batteries. I have no idea what a button battery is, but I'm gonna find a few.
A dear friend has reminded me that these interim measures are necessary because when one runs from committment, its because one is not ready and is actually waiting for the big one to come along and sweep her off her feet.
So, I'm going to dig in for a while, and make sure I have my supplies in stock.
