8:52 p.m. - 2005-09-08
Blah blech.
I need to loosen up. I just realized how high strung I've been over the last couple months.
Trying to analyze everything about myself, making improvements, kicking ass, but getting burned out at work, so much stress from life changes, mine and those close to me, and friends who are losing grip with reality and dealing with their fears/feelings of inadequacy in destructive ways.
I need a vacation from myself. Which would be easy if I did drugs. But, Zen is the anti-drug. I just need to get away from myself and breathe. Just breathe. Just be.
I want to take a week long hike and lose myself in the woods without TV, Radio, Media and Work. I want to see more than what's right in front of me. Its like I've been so driven, that I've missed all the scenery, and have been staring at the road without flinching to get to my destination.
Does that make sense?
And what is my destination? I don't know. So I've been driving in place.
I feel like I miss something. A feeling. A sense of connection.
I hope it finds me.
