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8:45 p.m. - 2005-11-14
Why Zen kicks ass:

I totally won over Sprint and got a new phone today. Persistance, legnthy questioning and polite commenting directed at the Customer Service Rep on the phone wore them down and resulted in a 150 rebate on a new phone which ROCKS. I love it. Its clear, pretty and functional.

So I am back in business.

Hey, if I'm going to be getting calls from the Caribbean, I need a reliable phone.

Work wasn't too painful today. People pretty much left me alone except to ask about the cruise.

My farty friend was shocked to the extreme that I found Max attractive and wanted to build a friendship/relationship with him. I think she's grossed out. I'm pretty happy about that. Less stink in my space.

The really funny thing is that my mom thought he was handsome. I didn't give her details, but she said something along the lines of him being a prospect and how I seem to collect men, but then don't seem to do anything with them. I took that to mean that she wants me to do something with Max. Too funny!


I did promise more Assholes on the High Seas stories, didn't I?

Let's move on to Sixweasels and Bee. We all know that Six can put away some booze, right? The Bar and all that. Well, I have to admit that I've never seen my girl as silly/sloppy drunk as I did the night of the midnight buffet.

We got to the dining room during the viewing and picture taking hour. Did out thing, then were instructed to walk out into the hallway to get in line for chow. If you've ever been on a cruise, you know that there are people who cruise just to eat 24x7. And when they have to wait for food, or what they want is running low, they will kick, scream, bite and maim to get in front of you and be served first.

Well, Six and Bee, being high on Jaiger
Bombs, and therefore not responsible for their behavior, spotted some chocolate coverd strawberries and were hit with a sudden passionate love for the things. You should have seen their faces! Big eyes, brows lifted and knit together, lips drawn into an ooooh formation. They batted their lashed at the strawberries, exclaiming, "I LOOOOOVE chocolate covered strawberries...Do you think we could take one? Would we get in trouble?" I assured them that though they may get scolded, they would most likely not be thrown overboard or tossd into the brig (they really have those, Max said). So they stood next to the platter, giggling and whispering conspiratilly together behind their raised hands, then made a dive for the platter, and bolted out of the dining room, chocolate dripping down their hands and arms, into the throng of food crazed passengers who threw them looks of deep seeded hatred and outrage, while I ushered ahead, shaking my head and apologizing for the breach of ettiquite.

We made it to the elevator, where Six stood licking her hands and arms, and Bee held her prize out while the chocolate dropped onto the carpet in globs. The girls had successfully swiped the forbidden fruit and gobbled it down like savages at first thaw.

I've never laughed so hard in my life. Not even at the penis. Or the other penis.

By now, you are probably wondering whether I participated in any assholery at all. I hardly drank, I was the model of ettiquite (well, maybe not), and received no scoldings whatsoever.

I WAS the one though who stayed up till Dawn keeping Max and his friends and a couple of officers company, while the girls slept off their booze. Party animal Zen. Only, when a Zen gets 5 or less hours of sleep a night, she gets a bit brain damaged. And when she gets fewer than 4 or 5 hours several nights in a row, she gets so stupid that Six has to lead her by the hand to keep her going in a straight line and constant reminders about where she was going and what she was doing. Lack of sleep has a greater affect on me than tons of booze.

Speaking of which, I think its bedtime for me. I'm still catching up.


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