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1:20 p.m. - 2005-11-22
A life.
I was sitting in The Bar with Six last Saturday afternoon, awaiting the arrival of the girls for the sex toy caravan. Six and I were sipping cokes and mixed drinks, each relatively lost in our own thoughts, drifting back to the present now and again to make a comment or draw attention to something going on around us.

Kit was bartending that afternoon, and after a time, drifted over to hang out with us and take advantage of some real conversation. Saturday afternoons tend to be slow and predictable. Kit is an odd person to describe. She has the look of a grandmother, yet wears her dirty blonde hair long, and wears shirts that cling to her breasts to improve her odds of getting decent tips from the dirty old drunks. She's attractive, yet, not. She seems at odds with herself, until you get to know her.

In truth, she is very comfortable with herself. She's the mother of youngish kids, and is in a relationship that seems to please her. She loves her job, because she gets paid to socialize, which to her is heaven. Kit takes care of her men by bringing in food and treats for them each day, and always remembers to give each one a present at Chtistmas, whether it be a shot glass or a lighter with the name of The Bar painted on.

She's a lover, and a care taker. She has a spirit that seems broken, bent, discarded, yet somehow beautiful because she makes it so. She is one of those people who chooses to live life and be happy despite her environment and experience. She's also a fortune teller.

She's read tarot cards, palms, etc. Apparently she gave up tarot cards when she read for a friend and saw that her husband was going to die in the Vietnam war and that was that. She still reads palms though. She read mine and Six's in July/August at a pool party and read Six dead on.

She said that Six was a very passionate woman, but the man she was with didn't inspire it. This was not her equal match. And that was before Six and the Mr. decided to call it quits. Before it was a thought. And Kit didn't know Six's husband from Adam.


She told me that I would find what I needed this year. An equal match in love, intelligence and spirituality. That it would be about three months when I would meet him, a year for us to get together officially, and two or three years till we were married and had children. She also said something about how the children might not be conventional, which is how we'd get to plural so quickly.


I'm not saying that Max is the one. But it is an awefully coincidental thing. He does have some very strong qualities that I have been looking for. He's big, funny, international, sexy, earthy, fun, intelligent, well travelled, deep roots, relaxed, mischeivious, powerful, an old soul, wise, generous, creative, affectionate, yet not overly in public, playful, compassionate, a little off beat, etc., etc. He has two kiddos. A home and land close to a family that he shares mutual, unconditional love with.

Did I mention that he sings and plays guitar? Often on his roof, looking at the stars contemplating life? I take it his roof is flat.

I love gettign to know him. I feel insatiable. I want to know everything, yet don't need to know everything. I feel so easy with our unique, long distance thing going on. I miss him, but I'm not pining for him. He feels so close. And I'm OK with waiting until next March to see him again, armed with a crateful of bullet-proof condoms so we can finish what we started On the Dock of the Bay (thanks Grim).

And I'm OK with using my time in between wisely to check out what's out there to date locally. And amid all that, getting surgery and focusing intensely on healing beyond the damage the scalpel does. I've been in pain so long that exercise has been nearly impossible for months. My body is suffering for it. After surgery, I'll be enrolling in yoga classes again to help nurture and stregnthen my insides and outsides. I'm looking forward to feelng healthy and strong again. And sleeping through the night without getting up to pee or take pain meds.

Next year is going to be so wonderful in so many ways. Health and comfort. Reconnecting with distant friends old and new. Visiting new countries and meeting new friends. Wonderful things.

I'm sure that there will be plenty of hard times too. I'm expecting that. I have come to believe that no matter how hard we try, there will be good and bad every year. But, I understand now that bad times are only fleeting. We experience them, we suffer from them, we deal with them, then we look forward to something better. I'm fortunate to have some of the best friends a girl could have. And I'm beginning to forge a stronger relationship with my brother and sister-in-law thanks to my nephew. So, no matter what, I know I'll be OK.

Its the knowing that the good times are coming, though, that keep me inspired. So that's what I will dwell on, when I'm not fully in the present. Day dreaming is all well and good, but the present is where all the rewards come to us. So, I'm raking them in as I write.


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