11:57 p.m. - 2006-01-09
Right. Phone sex. Sadly one sided, because I am on restriction. But oh so fun.
Yes, my soft-spoken, mild mannered, full of wisdom Max has a bit of the Ho Ho Ho in him as well. Gotta love it.
He's heading back home tomorrow and will be staying until March 15, when he will fly back to Miami, meet up with me, play tourist and nymphomaniac for two days, then...
GET ON THE WRONG DAMN SHIP
to start another contract.
Yes. The fuckers reassigned him to another ship that cruises out of Miami instead of Bawlmer.
There go all my plans for every other Sunday trysts in The City through November. Maybe this is a cosmic message to me that Max is wonderful, but not the one for me long term.
Which is OK, because as much as I like him, I like him. Just like. Not love. So I'm not heartbroken. Just disappointed.
Its all very confusing. I'm not sure if going to Miami is the best idea. I may be setting myself up for an emotional beating. I fell pretty quickly the first time, it may happen again. The phone calls have been sweet, but its not like we've been growing closer because of them. I need the physical contact from him, to be with him in person to really get a feel for him. He's not much of a phone talker, and either am I. But when I was with him in person, I got such a warmth from him that I glowed.
He just puts out a million watt aura of Maxness in person. But none of that conveys over the phone, which is where our relationship would take place if we chose to continue.
I like him. I want him to be a friend at least forever. I told him that. I'm also attracted to him and wouldn't mind getting busy on the beach with bullet proof condoms at the ready. There aren't many men that I would risk sex with even with a condom, but I am assured that they make them pretty damned good these days. And I have such a good feeling about this critter. I think I'm safe with him. He seems to be as bio-hazard paranoid as I am.
Anyway, life sometimes screws up all our plans for happiness. But I've seen it happen before, and mostly people end up even happier than they imagined in a completely different direction.
So, I'm leaving this up to fate.