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10:14 a.m. - 2006-02-17
Mommy Dearest is out, Max is in.
I had a dream this morning that I cussed my mother out, and evicted her from my house. And my old priest came over to talk to me and I cried and he said I did the right thing.

And then there was some miscellaneous weird stuff having to do with children running around the building playing hide and seek that seemed unrelated, but in essence, I think that I have, in fact, evicted my mother from my subconsious mind. I feel...happy. Free.

Its something that I've been working on for a long time, because I knew the root of the issue, but had no idea where to go with it until yesterday. Light bulb moment achieved, my subconsious mind took care of the rest.

I love my brain. I love how analytical it is and how I'm able to blend that analysis with intuition and imagry to problem solve. That's what has made this whole self-discovery/clean-up process so fun, even when its painful.

Wouldn't it be great to get paid tons of money for fixing yourself? Not on some reality TV show, but just as a thank you. And thank you from society for making yourself more human friendly.

Hmmm. Maybe that won't be happening.

So I'll have to continue making money like a regular person. Going to work like a veal. A happy veal.

I think I'll celetrate with a call to Max this evening once the weekend rates kick in. I don't want to overextend his minutes and cause him financial grief. Of the two of us, he is definately the one with his shit put together. He counts with his fingers like I do, but he owns properties, has a savings and doesn't over spend. I need me some of that karma.

I can't wait till tonight!

Calls with Max have become my favorite treat. I anticipate them like a kid would anticipate going to Disn&y. And on that subject, I got a really cute outfit for Miami. Its a dark brown lace knee legnth skirt, a dark brown cami, a pretty cream colored, silky knit half sweater and cream colored sandals. And I'm going to get a super cool coral necklace from this jewelry party Sunday. My mom is going to buy it for my birthday. Max is going to love the outfit. He got really excited over the cargo bermuda shorts I wore on the cruise, because they showed my calves. I'd say he's a goner when he sees me in this skirt. He's so easy...


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