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12:47 a.m. - 2006-03-26
Being fondled by the toothless and the whacked.
What do you say when a man says I love you for the first time?

Me? I say, "Go fuck yourself!!!"

And, no. It wasn't Max.

Two regulars at the Bar, one a long time buddy, somewhat toothless. Well....mostly toothless. And one, the brother of a beloved bartender, who just squicks me the hell out. They both professed undying love. And the former asked me to go home with him.

Ya just never know.

I did get a nice back scratch out of the toothless guy. I just wish he hadn't been so damn horney when he was doing it. It was a bit less enjoyable than it could have been, because I kept having to run interference for my boobs. And he kept reaching out and scratching my belly too.

Six says I have my penis mojo back. Remember the year of the penises? Thank God I didn't actually see one tonight. That would have driven me over the edge. But I was definately giving off vibes that said, "I've been traumatized by a penis and I need to be taken care of..." Because my favored penis is on a ship in the middle of the Caribbean somewhere instead of in my bed, scratching my back. Now, there's a man who could do some off the beaten path fondling if he wanted to. No interference required.

My soft, shiny man. I wonder where he is right now?

Oh, and two different - in fact - very different men came up to tie my shoes this weekend. One a hunka man who is married (Six's Liberty Bell), but flirty, and one, the afore mentioned squicky bartender's brother. The prior untied the shoe before tying it back up. Which was cute, but very bad behavior for a married ball. The latter saw me tying my left sneaker and jumped off his stool, and BEGGED me to let him tie it. It made me feel like a dominatrix. Which isn't a bad thing, but again, there's a time and a man for that ; ))

Unsolicited fondling. I guess Max has brought out my inner horndog. (Like it needed any encouragement.) Too bad its coming out sideways and whapping the wrong men upside the head.

Things to do:
1) Drink more water.
2) Exercise.
3) Go in for a mojo adjustment.

That should do it for now.


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