1:03 p.m. - 2006-08-14
I'm feeling so restless! Italian waiter cravings, the need to see new places and people, I have so much freakin' energy I'm about to bust!
I think its the new food program. Not all of it, but at least the energy part. I feel liberated. Healthier already. Plus, my Boodha seems to be shrinking. Probably more from water loss than chubb loss at this point, but its a relief to not see my belly when I look down. Its also a relief not to have acid reflux. Yay!
I did some meditation intent on becoming at peace with this new food program, and something came to me. There is something in common between the yoga centric lifestyle, and eating whole foods. They seem to go hand in hand. One earth focused, the other spirit focused. There is a beautiful flow of energy between the practices, each enhancing the other.
I also had a great conversation with my Great Lakes friend yesterday, something that always provides a sense of peace, yet provides challenges as well. He tends to come to my thoughts most when I'm unbalanced and struggling to understand something or am just so scattered I feel like I'll never be able to sit quietly with my own thoughts again. Maybe its just that he listens patiently without interrupting, or maybe its the perspective that he offers, but either way I feel like I can breath again and focus on me peaceably. I'm serious. Living with myself is like needing bouncers or police officers in my head to sort out the various conflicting thoughts.
I can tell lately that there is something tugging on my subconsious. Somthing I want to ignore. Not sure what it is, but I'm beginning to recognize the signs. A certain feeling in my gut and chest, the struggle to focus, I've become quiet - but not thoughtful. Something is there and it needs to come out. I wish I knew what it was.
But in the meantime I need to run away. To put myself into a new environment. I'm happiest when I'm a stranger in a foreign land, discovering.
I'll think of something.