6:07 p.m. - 2007-04-05
Solitude and the muse.
I watched "The Holiday" last night, and was deeply moved by this beautiful rendering of the tale about four thirty something single men and women from opposite shores of the Atlantic. The two female charactors were so near and dear to my heart. I felt as though the stories were written about me. The two of me. The one who sobs over the man who doesn't want her, yet won't entirely let her go. And the other, who subconsiously sabotages herself by falling for emotionally unavailable and/or inappropriate men, whom she goes through with only mild disappointment, throwing herself headlong into her job because she needs the distraction. And committment to... something.
Its a lonely place to be.
But what I learned, is that there are beautiful men like Jude L@w and J@ck Bl@ck who will fall at my feat and make my 36 year old dreams of love come true.
I need a muse. A kind, sympathetic old man to tell me that I'm the leading lady of my own life. That I'm a goddess and deserving of passionate love.
I might believe it coming from a wise old man.
That would be nice.
I'll ask for that this year for Christmas.
I hope you're all happy out there tonight. And if not, that its not too far away.
(Goodnight from the 1/2 bottle of Kasmir Vanille Brandy filled Zen. Lucious, not too sweet, smooth and silky.)
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