9:18 a.m. - 2008-03-08
Saturday reflections
I had a vision las night, as I sat among my married friends at one of those silly jewelery parties, of myself as "that woman", the ones I work with, who are 50 something, unmarried, and work 70+ days a week as Vice Presidents of whatever, who sob and sob if they get laid off because their job was their life, and their co-workers were their only family. The ones I pity and shake my head at.
If it ever looks like that's going to happen, please kick me in the ass.
Hey, did you know I'm going to be 37 this month? Happy birthday to me...
So this cruise if supposed to be a present to my mom for her 65th - a bit late due to unforseen medical issues on her part last year, but really - it turned out to be a present for myself.
And really...I'm just taking her because I'm desperate. I hate to travel by myself unless I have someone to meet up with on the other end. And I have nobody to travel with anymore, so...
Its really not so generous after all, huh? Bad Zen.
BTW - Six and I were talking last night about me, and my loveless life, and how I keep trying to cleanse my energy so to attract the right kind of men - or even just one right sort of man, instead of married assholes, bitter divorcees, bi-polars and losers looking for a sugar momma, and those having recently graduated from high school.
And I made the connection to that movie Bedazzled, where the guy kept asking the devil for what he wanted, but the devil always managed to make him miserable, while technically still granting his wish. That's what I feel like. Funny, no?
P.S. Thanks Nac for the note!
