8:30 a.m. - 2008-05-21
I need a nap.
I had a good conversation with my earthy crunchy yoga friend last night. We talked about the dream about putting my dog down, and the vibe issue I'm experiencing, and my overall frustration with the grief/fear of abandonment issue I seem to be suffering, which I believe is holding me back from having any sort of meaningful/lasting relationship with a man.
She reminded me that I've been doing a lot of yoga and meditation lately, and of course these things are coming up into relief. And she reminded me that all emotions are good, that I shouldn't be so angry at myself for feeling the bad ones, that they aren't bad, just truths, and I need to feel them so they will lessen and let out the good ones.
Not that I don't feel the good ones, but the frustration and sadness are on the surface right now.
I haven't been sleeping well the last two days, ever since the dog dream. I think I'm afraid I'll have another vivid dream like that. It really bothered me.
Maybe tonight will be better. If not, I'm going to the mountains this weekend with Six and her family. Some vodka, fresh mountain air, a campfire and letting loose some repressed profanities should do the trick.
