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8:01 a.m. - 2008-06-09
I think its Piss! and other stories.
I had a truely great weekend. Like something from the penis years...

It all started at The Bar, of course, and with certain people in the bar who infected the juke box with old 80's R &B which made my ears bleed. One song was painful, but my the third, I'd had it. Here I am sitting in the middle of a redneck bar in the of one of the sleezier parts of town, and I have to be subjected to really bad 80's R&B music.

I looked at Six, and nodded at the juke box, and delcared that the fuckers weren't drinking anyway, and I was going to drive them out.

So we sauntered/stumbled over to the Juke, and I immediately went to J0hnny Cash - who you know I hate with a passion - and searched out the hillbilliest, most earthy tune I cold find.

Six pointed out "Dirty Old Egg Sucking Dog". I thought - perfect! And clicked "play mine first" for an extra buck or so. That'll get 'em!

If I were looking for the perfect redneck tune to drive out a couple of 80's wannabes, I could not have chosen a better one.

They were out within 5 minutes.

And I stood at the juke boc, laughing so hard I was crying, Six and I hanging on to eachother like a lifeline to keep eachother off our asses, because neither of us were terribly...sober...

Oh man. I haven't had that much fun in ages!

Of course, Six's family walked in at the same moment, and her Dad was wondering who the hell played Egg Sucking Dog, and was much surprised to hear that it was me...

I think its my favorite song right now.

I'm just a little shit, aren't I?

And since I was drinking beer and a hell of a lot of shots, and everything was funny, I ended up showering Six with a mouthful of Red Headed Slut (a Hawiian Punchish tasting shot) when she sang the "I think its piss" song from Sweeney T0dd. By coincidence we had both watched it Friday night and were mutually turned off by the people pies, but hysterically affected by the piss song.

Oh, then The Boys came out, and I drank more beer and shots, but I did not go home with H. Holding firm to my convictions, I am not going to set myself up for more heartache just because I'm horney. I've transcended.

Actually, I'm surprised he even asked. I thought we had it out last summer and put the whole thing to rest. In fact, I thought we ratehr nastily put it to rest.

But, again, I'm proud of me. That was a cycle that badly needed to be broken.

And I was way to happy to have a cold shower of grumpy male wash over me in the morning when he realizes that having me in his bed is too closely akin to having me as a girlfriend, and good god, he'd better push me away like a bug before I get too fucking close.

So there.

I spent Sunday in Six's parental pool, SPF 70, of course, and ran over to the Kosher store on the way home to pick up this great bread that I love there. And I ran directly into a beautiful, tall, black haired, black eyed jewish man who almost wore me like a winter scarf, but I kept myself in check. I haven't had that kind of WOW moment for years... I mean flutters all over. And of course, I ran like a sissy to the other end of the store.

I've got the part about running away from bad men, but now I have to master NOT running away from potentially good men.

Next lesson.


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