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7:43 a.m. - 2008-08-07
Rambling on a Thursday morn
I took yesterday afternoon off. I had an appt at the Derm office that was bumped from 4:30pm to 1pm. So I said I was outa there and played hooky for the rest of the day. I had fun. Not tons of it, but it was nice to be free in the middle of the week.

Oh, and I got my underarms lasered. I already did my legs years ago, and the Derm had a special for 99 dollars. I'd spend more than that in a year on razors alone. So, I got them zapped. Yay! No more shaving! I'll never be mistaken for a hippie, that's for sure.

You know, I totally missed water aerobics last night and didn't remember till just now. That sucks. I really like that class. It works well with the arthritis issues.

Oh, did I tell you that I ran into some high school classmates this past weekend? They are two twins, one of whom I did track with. Its funny, because as a kid, she was a big, big girl, and she wiped me off the map, record-wise. And she was suck a tom-boy. But now, she's a svelt mommie, and still participates in softball and otehr sports, and is being courted for coaching jobs.

And now I'm the fat one with - I admit - a young face still (Hey You! Maybe fluff does make you look younger...). But I'm as unathletic as they come. Some of which is caused by the arthritis I've had since 19, which has spread, and when it acts up, it stays longer. And some of it is that I just gave up some years ago. I'm not sure why. I gave up on myself. On my health, on my body. At some point, I said why bother and never looked back.

So you think that its possible to regain what was lost? I see those people on Biggest Lo)ser, and some of them really transform, but I'm not sure that's possible for me. It would take a hell of a lot of committment, like getting up at 5 and going to the gym, and working through the pain of my joints and muscles rebelling. Taking my shower and getting dressed, prettied up (which I have to admit has been somewhat on a back-burner lately too) at the gym.

Because once I'm at work, there's no telling when I'll get back out again.

So I can't rely on going to the gym after work.

Something think about. But first, I need the motivation. I think lonliness might be a good one, because I'm not exactly a head turner at this weight and level of fitness. I mean, men look, but I think they're thinking, "Man, she'd be hot if she weren't so damn fat..." You know? Because I see the pity in their eyes. Or at least, I imagine it.

I had a dream last night that H was retired army and was recalled to go to war in South America. And I gave him good luck booty and lived in his house with Tod till he got home.

Weird, huh?


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