7:08 a.m. - 2003-04-25
Eggs, wonderful fucking eggs
If I see another fucking egg I'm gonna barf. Egg overload. There were five of us yesterday, all scrambling for the peanut butter and caramel eggs -- fighting like animals in an alley for the last morsel of someone's thrown out dinner. If any of my B-town boys would have been here, they would have bought popcorn and sat down for hot show of female cat fighting.
The mission for the weekend:
1 - Limit alcohol consumption, therefore reducing calorie consumption to make up for the FUCKING EGG INCIDENT!
2 - Drink tons of water
3 - Shake my ass even if its to lousy redneck juke box music such as John Deer Green or Earl had to Die
4 - NOT be grabbed, poked, pushed, yanked or otherwise squidged without returning the volley with a good "accidental" elbow to nose, followed by a nicely planted heel to the groin. Once again, " I am NOT fucking bubble wrap!" (Thanks P-girl)
5 - I WILL be fondled only by nice boys who think I'm the BOMB and only in private. (Perhaps we should put numero cinco on the in your wildest dreams list)
6 - I will card any man who appears to be under 50 years of age and wants to date me.
7 - IF ANYONE(eh hem)says AMIBAD, and stumbles over invisible bodies on the sidewalk, I will lock him up in the nearest car, regardless whether I know the owner and hope like hell he ends up in Tijuana or something by next weekend.
8 - Absolutely NO mooshing all day Saturday until my body aches from inactivity.
9 - I will resist the urge to eat bad diner food after midnight.
10 - I will have fun and let loose even though I'm feeling hormonal and want to bite someone's head off.
