9:09 a.m. - 2004-01-22
When I grow up I wanna be...
I woke up this morning knowing what I want to be when I grow up. I want to contribute my skills as an ass kicker and loving human being to an organization that brings the world closer together. Not necessarily an aid organization, or the Peace Corp, although I wouldn't discount the notion. It was my dream long ago to be an ambassador, but I really don't think I have the brains, or the finesse at the levels it takes to be successful.
But I would kick ass as an organizer, a manager or an overseer of projects that make the world a better place. I want to educate and be educated. I want to have the life that I've always known was mine to have.
This debt that's been hanging over my head since college has limited my options so severely that I thought I had to give it all up.
As of the end of next year, that will no longer be the case. It hasn't sunken in yet that I will be free next year. Free to make a new start without any responsibility other than myself.
Living at home again doesn't seem so dreadful now. Now that I have a greater purpose. Nor do I dread another year with the blood sucking corporation. I'll use them as hard for the money and the skills as they've used me.
I'm going to let it sink in now. Then I'll start the research to find a position that makes a good fit. Something that allows me to travel a bit, maybe live overseas in sprints. I don't want to live somewhere else permantly, because I have so much here to bind me. I have friends and family who have made me what I am. I would never want to let them go entirely. They are my rock. My heart.
But the idea of making an impact that I can be proud of fills me with such hope. I'll dream well tonight.
