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4:01 p.m. - 2004-02-10
The things that mean so much
I have butterfly's in my stomach. They've been there all week. It feels like a cold spring day outside, and the sun is shining so brightly. I love the feeling of anticipation that spring brings. I smell the air and I know that warmer weather is coming and with it my birthday and the cruise. What could be better?

I want the water. The feel of it under my feet. The sight of it as the ship passes through the sea's majestic ripples. I want to be rocked to sleep by the massive vessel as it carries us toward the next port. And I want a Pina Colada, frozen.

Most of all, I want special time with my girl friends. Even though I have known and depended on two of them for over ten years, I never really felt the true value of real girl friends until recently. I've grown a lot over the last year or two. I've used this diary to draw out thoughts and emotions and experiences. It has made me closer to those whom I love.

Its nearing the first anniversary of my relationship with Diaryland. My first entry is dated 2-14-03. Just a few days away. I made some comment about Cupid shooting us all in the ass. But, I have to admit that I love this diary. So, Valentine's means a little more to me this year.

Plus I have a boy of my very own this year. He may be just a shag-buddy, but he's very special to me. He's a dear friend who gets into my head and breaks down the barriers of resistance that I've built up over the years. He seems to understand my thoughts and feelings better than I do.

H is a bit more intuitive than I ever gave him credit for. Maybe that's because I'm getting to know the sober side of him that was missing during our scattered excursions out with The Boys. Its hard to have a real conversation when you're out with your friends having yummy drinks and getting all sillyfied.


I'm leaving work early today. I have some time coming to me from last weekend. I'm going to go buy some fish, make a nice lemon sauce, eat, play with the pup, then do some yoga. I've been neglecting my practice lately. I'll feel even better when I've worked through a few poses and get back to center.


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