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12:26 p.m. - 2004-08-26
Its been two days since the lickable comment, and no sightings have been had since. He's not here. Fired maybe? I may never know. But I want my eye candy back!

I went on a wine splurge at lunch. Three bottles and two on order. I have a couple bottles left in the closet, but they are old and I want to open them when I have Batten and company there to sample. They will either be phenomenal bottles or vinegar.

Otherwise, life has been boring. My friend M, who I met at work 9 years ago has been up my ass. She is sure that hanging with me will make her lose weight. No matter what I do or where I go, she wants to follow, but will criticise the whole way. Everything has to be done "together," because we're "buddies." If I want a massage, she wants to go to, so we can do it together. If I go to the gym she wants to go too so she'll have a buddy. But she went, and said she didn't think the workout was hard enough or long enough to "raise her fucking metabolish." I was all I could do not through Phen Phen (which she would take to tell her that sitting on her fat ass eating cream sauce wasn't raising her metabolism.

This is a woman who hasn't worked out in her entire life. Any weight she's lost was again knowing the risks), liposuction and a tummy tuck. Yet, Curves isn't enough of a workout for her. She is 5 feet tall and easily 300 lbs!!! *#&$&$&$**#W(*#)($#)@&$)@#

I can't even cuss effectively enough to satisfy the need here...

Breathing, breathing, breathing.

She WILL NOT be going to yoga and pilates with me. No way. If she ever finds out and tries to come, I'll kick her co-dependant ass out.

---------------------------------------- OHMYGOD speaking of asses, this guy in my department has been walking around with a fart maker all afternoon, and I just found out it was a prank! It sounds so real, I really thought he was having an intestinal disturbance. I've been trying to keep my composure, but totally came apart, tears and all, when he came to my office and farted mid-sentence. I fell off my chair for real, and was crying so hard I couldn't breath. Thank God he wasn't farting for real. Can you imagine? I'd be fired! Wait! I know. I'm gonna sic him on the co-dependent friend!


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